Losses and Gains

Sometimes we are faced with decisions that seem like life ending, but on the contrary, they are life CHANGING. Life is far from over, why live each day with no hope for tomorrow, with no hope for change? My entire life softball has been my everything. I remember standing in my backyard with a bucket of balls by my side, and a bat in my hand, and hitting until I couldn't hit anymore. That feeling I get when I kneel before a field, lacing up those cleats and buttoning my jersey is indescribable. I love everything about the game. I love the smell of the dirt when it gets watered down, and the feel of the freshly mowed grass beneath my cleats. I love the feeling of the raised laces on the ball against my fingertips, and the way my glove fits perfectly against MY hand. I love the sound the bat makes as the ball comes off of it, I love diving, the blood, and the sweat. I love the team, the coaches, and the feeling of coming back from behind to win a game. I love the feeling that I get as the crowd goes silent and all there is is a chalk line in front of me and a base waiting for me to reach. But most of all, I love the feeling of knowing I can be better than myself, that I can overcome trials, and struggles. It sounds so cliche, but softball has been more than a game to me. It has taught me to stand up for what I believe, to work hard, and to not care what others think. It has taught me that I can do better than myself, and be better than what I ever thought possible. Softball has brought me to Hawaii. Without the game that I love I never would have come out here. And now, softball is the last thing that matters to me. I see now that there are so many more important things in this life than a game. There is school, family, and friends. These things that I've learned has helped me realize that sometimes we have to let go of things that we love in order to get something better. Quitting has always had such a negative connotation in my mind. It always meant giving up, loser, someone who doesn't work hard enough, walking away. But I finally realized something. Sometimes quitting means giving up a bad situation, losing something that is hurting you more than it's helping you, working harder to be happy than to say you're not a quitter, and walking away from something that you love so much, but not enough to stay when you know it's hurting everything else. My entire life softball has been my everything, but now I realize that softball became something that was causing me more stress and problems than it was helping me. It used to be the one thing I could go to to get rid of all my worries, and now it has become what gives me all my worries. I could see how much softball was affecting my family and my school work. I finally realized that in two months it wasn't going to mean anything, not this way. Softball will always be a part of my life. I love the game more than anything, but it will be in my life on MY terms. I hope one day I can be a coach that everyone can look up to, that can not only teach them how to play the game, but teach them about life. I lose something that I love in order to gain a happier, healthier me and a me that can succeed in other things, besides the one thing I have focused on my entire life. I am so thankful for softball, it got me here to Hawaii, and it has taught me so much. But more importantly, I am so thankful for my family and friends who are always so supportive of me. Sometimes, we have to lose something we love to gain something greater.