Families are Forever

The cold silk of the blanket covered my toddler body. I looked up and could see the red glow from the light shining through the opaque fabric that had been worn through. Butterflies fluttered through my tummy as I swung back and forth through the air in my makeshift hammock. My laughs cut through the air as I thought to myself "Nothing can beat this moment".At that very moment,flying through the air, I felt free. When the swinging ceased and the blanket fell at my feet I caught my breath and looked up to see my sister and her husband laughing at the joy I got from something as simple as being swung back and forth in a blanket. What I didn't know as that toddler, was that 15 years later, sitting in Hawaii I would look back at that moment and the butterflies would begin to flutter, not because of the swinging but because of the joy I feel when I think of my sister. A sister that could never truly leave no matter how many unspoken days went between us, a sister that was brought to me through the foster system. My sister, Jessica.

I was too young to remember all of the details of my childhood, but I do remember the days that I got to spend with my new foster sister. She was older than me, brown haired, and I looked up to her. The fact that the blood pumping through our veins had no identical dna was the least of my worries. At that very young age I learned the very important lesson that family could be any shape, size, race, religion, and could come from any walk of life.

Jessica was just like me, we were family, and where we came from had little influence on how I felt about her, or the fact that someone new was going to be living at my house. She quickly became my sister. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed, refusing to get dressed. Jessica would pick up my pants slip it over my leg, and stick her eye close to the end of the hole. As my foot went in the first leg she would screech as my toe poked her eye. I would laugh and laugh, and quickly proceed to let her dress me as long as I could continue to poke her eyes out. The fact that she was never blinded by my little toes and fingers wasn't important. My sister found a way to connect to me, she found a way to make me smile, and make me laugh. She would sing to me, dress me, watch movies with me, and brush my hair.

Time went on, she grew up, and she got married. She had beautiful kids, and our lives drifted apart. We didn't talk, we didn't have each others numbers, we didn't have each others facebooks. Somewhere, out there, one of my sisters was walking around, that bond never gone, but slowly forgotten.

I went to junior high, high school, and soon ended up in Hawaii. I quickly knew that I was supposed to be a social work major, not knowing why, not knowing how, just trusting that the Lord lead me to the place that I was supposed to be. One year later, today, I am sitting in a Child Welfare class learning about foster families. "Many foster families have a hard time accepting foster children as their own". my teacher explained. I raised my hand and told him that I had a foster sister, and she was my sister, she was my family. I thought about Jessica often, wondered where she was, who she is, how her kids are, but never once did I take that step to find her.

My teacher assigned a book to read, it was about a foster child, growing up in the system. He had a hard time fitting in and each family he went to refused to let him into their family. I couldn't put the book down, my eyelids were drooping so I found a stopping point and put my ipad away until morning. I laid in my bed restless wondering about Jessica and all we had been through together. The next morning, I looked her up on facebook. [thank you technology]. I decided to write her a message, telling her how much those memories meant to me, and to thank her for all she did for me. To remind her that we would always be sisters. The response I got was unexpected.

She had been following my blog, she was amazed at the people my sister and I had become, and she was so thankful for my message. I sat and cried as I read her message. I had my sister back. The days unspoken, the distance, the wondering, all of that didn't matter. Because at that moment, she was the sister that let me poke her eyes, and would swing me in the hammock. Her family is beautiful, she is an amazing mom, and she has made such an amazing life for herself.

I am so thankful for this gospel. I am thankful that the Lord knows what is right, and why it's right. I have seen the doors open as I continue to strive to do what is right for me, and I am so thankful for that. I am so lucky to have reconnected with such an amazing part of my life, and I am so excited to see what the future holds for the Atkin family, now that we are all back together again. We can build new memories, be apart of each others lives, and see what the Lord has in store for all of us now that we are ready for each other. I am so thankful for technology, and the opportunity I have to reach out to someone from my past that I never thought I would talk to or see ever again.

I look up, and the glow of the computer screen looks back at me as the tears run down my face. I chuckle through the tears at the recollection of my childhood memories. I smile to myself, as I read my sisters words, knowing that something so simple, could bring so much joy to my sister and me. My sister, jessica. Families are Forever.