Dirty Dancing

hmm.. where should I begin? No, my title does not include bumping, grinding, jersey shore turnpiking, fist pumping, dougie, or break dancing. While a senior in the year 2011, these words are part of the dance vocabulary, yet, there are probably a total of 3 and a half people that can do these dances justice in this bubble we call o-town.

The question: Walking up and asking a person face to face is completely sufficient, yet completely and utterly frowned upon in this establishment. Ladies and gents, you must spend hours and hours thinking, devising, and scheming a sneaky, destructive, annoying, and unnecessary way to ask that boy or girl you've had your eyes on. and no, it doesn't stop there.. you will then wait for 2 weeks for that guy or girl to answer you 3 days before the dance because they took too long thinking of a clever way to say yes. If you're a girl at Timpanogos High School, I would suggest asking that special someone the day after the last dance or he or she might get snatched. Why must you ask them 3 months in advance? Because girls are insane. Oh and just a little food for thought:Do not, and I mean do not even THINK about asking someone who another girl has even thought about having as her boyfriend. This will just lead to many problems for you later. Girls will be girls.

The group: You must then spend days, tears, arguments, and drama deciding who is going to be in your group. If you ask me, just go alone, who cares about the group, you'll have less gray hair if you just ditch the whole group situation. "I can't go in her group because my date doesn't like hers, I can't go with her she stole my eraser in second grade, We have the same hair color there is no way I can be seen in a picture next to her". It goes on and on and on. Save yourself the time and energy and ditch the group.

Planning: You must then spend multiple days trying to come up with something that everyone in your group agrees with. You must find a day date, a dress, shoes, makeup person, hair person, a car, tickets, dinner, after the dance, who's riding with who, who get's what seat, what kind of lip gloss one will be using, nails, eyebrows,legs, arms, heads, shoulders, knees, and toes. By the time you are completely finished planning, you will commit to yourself never to ask someone to a dance again.

The Dance: when the bass starts pumping let's all put our hands in the air and jump around until our legs are too tired to jump anymore. And then we will just stand there and wait for someone who thinks they know how to break dance to make a circle and make a fool of themselves while they do what they think they call "battling". We'll all clap and cheer because I think he just did what the Jabbawockeez did on season 1 of ABDC, give him a a creepy white mask and he's destined for greatness! There's those who form a train with their entire group and weave in and out of the crowd while holding onto the person's shoulders who is ahead of them while the rest look on in embarrassmant. There's those who stand in the corner and drink water because their mom made them go. There's those who think they can dance.. but can't. Those who know they can't dance.. but try. Those who try way too hard. Those who are afraid of their dates. Those who are measuring the space between them to make sure to have 2 book of mormon widths between them. Those who are too afraid to mess up their hair. Those who let loose and go out of control. Those who makeout so ghetto fabulously during the slow songs. And those who run to the bathroom because they need an excuse to not see their exboyfriend dancing with another girl. Welcome to high school dances ladies and gentleman. This will be followed up with an after party, where? To be decided. Who's going to sit where? Another hour of arguing. Kissing? Let's keep that to your own imagination. And the drive home.. Who will be dropped off first?

It all starts with a question..that question, will only lead to days and days and days of more questions, less answers. And hopefully it'll lead to a lot of good memories, bad dancing, and a whole lot of tired high school students.